Or Even If I Throw A Fit

And once again, we're back in college. Yes, it is nice to look at your classmates and have small chat with them again. You get to eat with your friends during breaks again. You finally just catch up with each other after the holidays. Also, you face the return of exam papers, marked with red ink, with 2 digit numbers written on the front cover of the paper, together. Sweet ain't it?

What can I say? You will never get used to the feeling of nervousness with hundreds of thoughts running through your mind before you get back your results. Even after having to sit for so many common tests in this year, the feeling is always there. I hate it. Especially you know when you've screwed the paper up. One can say the Maths paper slapped us 360 degrees. Ok, maybe it slapped me across my face leaving a red mark not on my face but my report card. Which will not be mailed to my house but to my parent's office. I shall wait outside of their office in 1 to 2 weeks time for the mailman so that they don't need to know my results. Oh em gee, I wonder if you can apply for Uni without having them to look at your Maths results. =.=

Anyway, I've got a new phone! =D It's so classy and pretty. I love it. 8.1 megapixel camera, walkman, I simply adore it. I shall go play with it now to distract my mind off my maths result.


Toodles with a new phone to play with,
Alanna the Banana

Even if I hurt you with words

5 papers and a total of 14 hours or aggravation later, I am finally done with my SAM trials. It's never fun to study for exam is it? The funny thing is, you never like staying up late at night being productive with your studies but you enjoy late nights when you're having fun. During the exam week, mom said I looked like someone gave me a punch in the eye. I had GREEN eyebags! Like the ones I had during SPM. I wonder why I get eyebags so easily, losing sleep just by 2 hours. My friends stay up the whole night and they still look like they've got enough Stage 4 sleep. I'm putting Psychology into application. oh dear.

So holidays are up and I'm at my dear Ton Pi's house cause my parents decided to go down to Johor a decision which I totally refused.
This is my 3rd night. Shopping, going crazy, making fun of Mariah Carey's Obsessed, online shopping, playing with dogs, sitting in an RX8 <3, To all my Muslim friends, Selamat Hari Raya!!! May all of you get loads of green packets!! so that you can spend it on me. HUR.



Toodles with love,
Alanna the Banana

Do know that

I think I am stressed. Cause I seem to be blogging everyday now.

I think that I have put on weight as well. Could it be the hot vanillas I've been drinking lately?

I think I need a new wallet. My Benetton one is getting.. old.

I think my new sneakers are fantastic! The fact that daddy bought them for me, its even better! =D

I think I should be studying instead of typing now.

I think my ulcer really hurts. Stupid braces.

I think I miss hanging out with my friends.

I think I miss my Ton Pi.

I think that my car seriously needs servicing. Condition? Bad to worse.

I think I should concentrate on my Trials. I am concentrating on it, its just that sometimes my concentration sways to Gerard Butler.

I think Gerard Butler is H.O.T.! *melts*

I think the movie Gamer was freaking awesome. Catch it. Really.

I think wearing shorts to the mall just now was a mistake. Froze in the cinemas.

I think I need to sleep.

I think waking up at 5.30am to sit for an exam at 7am, is ridiculous.

I think whoever set the time of the test in Australia was being biased.

I think I should go wash up now.

I think this feels like a Psychoanalysis therapy.

I think if the psychoanalyst were to walk out of the room while the client is still rambling, the client wouldn't notice.

I think I've been psycho-ing myself too much.

I think I might take Psych as a course.

I think I want to go to Melbourne U. Cause I think it looks so pretty. =D

I think I should really go to bed now. Eye lids are so heavy. They must be lifting weights or something.



I think I wouldn't mind watching Gamer again. Let's do DVD!

I think I would want to watch Butler in The Ugly Truth.



I think I would want Butler to be my butler. Shirtless. All the time.

I think by the time I can afford to have Butler to be my butler, he'd be old. And I would be old. Ew.

I think I should wake up early tomorrow.

I think I'm going to miss him. I WILL miss him. *It's only for 5 days betch. Trials!!*


Toodles with lots of thinking,
Alanna the Banana

Beside me

It took just ONE phone call to just change my perspective of things. I might not know how it feels to be in her shoes right now, or how much pain she's going through, or how she's going to wake up the next day feeling something is missing and that something and someone can never come back to her because there's nothing she can about it. I might not be close enough to lend her a hug or to send my condolences right now but what I can do now is to just let everybody know how much they should appreciate their loved ones at this moment and not take them for granted because in a split second, everything can change.

You might just hear stories just like that all the time, or go through the lines above countless of times saying that we should appreciate people and all. You're probably going to read this post and probably think that epiphany has just struck within you and you should start going to people love and start telling them you love them. But you should realize that situation above, it has never happened to you yet. Even if you have experienced it, you've moved on and you've even probably taken someone for granted right now. It has never happened to me either, but what I'm doing here is to really do my best to turn things around and change a part of me; taking people for granted.

Your parents, your friends, your boyfriend or your girlfriend, your brother, your sister, be it whoever, you've been mad at them before, you've gotten into arguments, you've taken them for granted. Little things or major problems that made you angry or sad, you know deep down they don't really mean it. Sometimes, arguments can go on for days or weeks or sometimes even months, and sometimes, they might even just go on unresolved. Why live in anger? Why live with such torture to your heart? Imagine the other person left the world while you were still mad at him or her. Imagine that you'll be in so much pain and guilt and sorry for not just admitting you were wrong, or sorry for avoiding that person for a long time just because she wouldn't lend you her textbook, or whatever. Imagine that you wouldn't be able to forgive yourself. Imagine that you could have compromised and that person would have gone peacefully without having so much anger and sadness in them. Imagine. All that.

But I can't. You can't. No one can until they lose someone.

So what can we do? Well, it's entirely up to you how you want to show your appreciation and love to someone. Just realize how important they are to you and what they mean to you now.

About the last post? Scratch the entire thing. I don't need him to bring me to prom. I finally realize that if I'm still in a relationship with him right now, I'm contented with that. To talk to him everyday, be it just one text or a simple call, it's enough. Prom? Just see me before I leave the house and I'll call you when the slow dance comes on. =D

I won't say that everything is going to be alright because it's not. When you get through all of this, you'll be stronger. Girl, you will get through all of this with your family and friends beside you. Even though he might not be there physically anymore, know that the memories of him in your heart is what keeps him alive to you.

Rest in peace.


Toodles with love,
Alanna the Banana

To keep you here

I've been noticing a trend in my blog lately. Blogging a night before a test. You have no idea, how stressed out I am. SO stressed out, I need to blog it out. What an excuse. =.=

I have 2 more weeks till Trials come. I have YET to study ANYTHING at all. I have 4 subjects to thoroughly go through. I have presentations, reports and tests all lined up for the next week and I am still here. Blogging about how stressful SAM life is. It sucks. I probably should have taken A Levels. Then again, I wouldn't meet my crazy classmates or have all those good times with them. Oh well, no regrets. =D

Back to studying Accounts? Is there anything to study for anyway? It's just reading right? Right? right?


Toodles with stress,
Alanna the Banana

So I'm doing my best

Why is it that I always find myself blogging a day before a test or a major exam? Can I not concentrate? Psych test tomorrow. And my handwritten notes, all written neatly with coloured pens, are WET. YES WET!!! OH MAI GATT! Thank god its just like a corner, and I still can see the writings but the ink is all smudged. What is so pretty is now, blotchy. =.=

Oh, speaking of tests, we had a quiz today. Pop quiz. MERDEKA QUIZ! Sorry, KUIZ! Seriously, I didnt know like half of the paper. Ok, I lied, 3/4 of the paper. Fortunately, everything is all in objective and it's not counted in any our of internal. But if we get the highest score, I think we get a prize. The boys in my class reckons the prize is a poster of our Prime Minister, or our Agong. Or a place in the upcoming parade. I am so not Malaysian after doing that quiz. I don't think I deserved to be called a Malaysian. The only questions I knew how to answer was, "Who was the first Malaysian to break through into the US fashion industry?" - Zang Toi (It's in the moral text book in Form 5!!!) and "Which is the largest man-made lake in Malaysia?" - Tasik Kenyir. Whatever, I just like living in the country where food is abundant!!! <3 *Repeats to self* Carl Rogers' view on personality - Person's basic tendency is to actualise, maintain and enhance life.


Ah! UP is FINALLY here! Pixar's supposedly BEST movie! The trailer is so cute. =D



I cannot wait to watch it actually. I wanna watch it with my Daddy! Daddy is a really big fan of Pixar. He finds the characters so adorable and interesting and the storylines are always out of the ordinary and they are REALLY REALLY GOOD! Daddy likes them so much, he is willing to buy the original DVD if he likes a particular movie, like A Bug's Life. I find it a little too crazy but oh well! He's my partner in crime when it comes to Pixar!

But daddy has no time these days. So I might have to watch it with someone else. Oh well. Whatever it is, Daddy will be watching it with me sooner or later on DVD. =D

Alrighty then! Back to going psycho! =D


Toodles with love,
Alanna the Banana

That time is running out

I'm supposed to be studying for Moral. Yes, my little people who are still in high school, you still have Moral to study for, if you plan to continue college, that is. No, it's not like SPM where you have to memorize 36 nilai-s and vomit it out the next day with the proper keywords and all. Ugh, hated those days. This time its in English. Yay, you might think. It's not. It's STILL moral. But this time, you just read the notes and just understand it or pretend to understand it and just write down long elaborated answers into your exam papers. And you don't have stupid nilai-s to memorise. And guess what? There is only ONE moral paper. You just have to pass it. =D

Dad still thinks its rubbish, having to sit for Moral classes and all. I could sit here and debate all day long whether its beneficial to us or not but I choose not to.

Benefits of Moral Education :
Development of a holistic individual who is balanced, matured and knowledgeable in making rational action and decision towards the establishment of an ethically fair and caring society.

OH em gee, I have to sit here and read all these slides. They come up to about hundreds of slides. And no tips for tomorrow's exam. Great. =.=

I keep telling myself to start on it, but here I am. Blogging ABOUT it. *whispers to self* need to concentrate, Alanna. CONCENTRATE!! STOP BLOGGING.

24th August is a date to remember. I have reasons I would like to keep to myself. So why am I posting it here? Cause I like to read my own posts and remember how I felt when I wrote them. For now, I feel, neutral. Ah, probably because of the test coming up tomorrow. Gosh, then I have Psych Common Test 2 on Thursday. Stress-nye. And I keep reminding myself to stop typing and start reading. =.=

Better go now. I'll never get to it if I keep procrastinating.






Toodles with stress,
Alanna the Banana