I don't belive in Goodbyes

So Mok tells me to update my blog. Classmates having the regular crap talk on msn in mass convos. My girls trying to cheer each other up. I sit and just stare and decide to watch transformers with my parents. Call me ignorant, call me a bitch, call me a ditcher, I don't care.

I sit in front of my laptop on my lap (please don't go on about how putting the laptop on your lap is bad), I have Estrella's Stay on loop, and I just don't know what to think anymore. So many emotions, so little time to feel them all. Good news, bad news, sad ones, happy ones. Tell me how am I supposed to feel them all?

Last day of college tomorrow, or rather today since it's 12.43am on my clock right now. Everybody is upset about it. Msn personal messages, twitter and facebook are all about the last day of college tomorrow for us SAM students. Yeah, I don't seem upset about it. I don't take it seriously. I know it is the "last" day but saying goodbye is not really my thing. I had trouble realizing I was leaving high school. It was only until March it finally hit me. I'm not saying that this ain't going to hit me till like next year but yeah, it's not really what I do.

This post ain't going to be how I still remember my first day in college cause for goodness sake, you've probably heard it a MILLION times before. It's also not about reminiscing the good and bad times of it. Cause we've all said that and we still remember it. Maybe some other time I'll write about that.

Well, in reality, you're all upset about leaving college. You say I'm going to miss this place, yeah we all said that when we left primary school and secondary school, well you are right, college is a miss-able place. But how long will you say, you will miss this place? You're going to miss your friends? Well, you don't have to miss them, you can MAKE the effort by calling them up and say you wanna hang out. Miss your lecturers? Ah, you said you were going to miss some of your high school teachers last year, but seriously, have you ever given a thought about them before someone brings up the topic about high school? I can honestly say, no. I only said I missed them when I didn't understand a shit thing the lecturer was teaching us.

I'm not trying to be a bitch when all of you are feeling sad. Cause I don't really believe in goodbyes.

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The above post was what I was suppose to continue but I just decided to leave it until there. I just really didn't know how to let my feelings flow. I know most you guys expect me to write a nice post about how I am going to miss college, the friends, the fun, the ping pong, and stuff. But the thing is, I can't? I am going to miss it all but if I were to start writing, god knows how long the post is going to be and I'll be boring half your lives away. But the main reason why I don't want to write about it, it may bring tears to all of your eyes.

What seemed so far away in the beginning seems to be nearing us all. We're facing our exams in a weeks time and we also face the decision we have to make, choosing uni's to further our studies. Some of us have chosen, applied and are ready to go next year. Some of us, are just left undecided, and this is the category I belong to. Undecided category.

So maybe another reason why I don't want to write about it is maybe I just want things to stay as they were. Me waking up for college and changing into outfits, going for lessons, talk with my girls, play pool, eat and go home and talk to my boyfriend. I want things to stay this way cause it was easy. Sure we had trouble at times but there was no reason why we couldn't work our way around it. I want things to stay this way because I didn't need to make decisions, tough ones anyway. I want things to stay this way because I've made friends that carries out the motto, Girls over Bros. I want things to stay this way because I've had so much fun and I didn't have to worry about anything else except sitting for exams. I want things to stay this way because college is the best thing that ever happened to me and it changed me inside out. I want things to stay this way because I don't want to change again.

Within one year, 10 months I would say, I have changed into a person I would have only imagined of. Being myself was what I am in college. I didn't need to worry about what people would have said about me because we all know this year is too short to hate other people. You can definitely see how much people have changed when they go to college. Several ways.

So I'm probably boring you with my non-existent purpose post already. What I'm trying to say is, yes, leaving college has hit me. Hard. I just refuse to show it because I look horrible when I cry.


Toodles with love and tears,
Alanna the Banana

Since I'm hooked the vinegar

I love vinegar. Three days, in a row, I've been eating something with vinegar for dinner. It's absolutely fantastic! =D

There are so many movies I wanna catch!! So many I think I need to start saving money to watch them at the cinema. I have spent so much money this year itself on movies. Sometimes I watch the same show twice, sometimes three times. Please don't ask why. Watching in the cinema is totally different if you buy the dvd and watch it at home. Unless you have a tv room with a projector and all.

1. The Private Life of Pippa Lee


Winona Ryder, Blake Lively, Keanu Reeves, just to name a few. Ok, I'm not lying, I watching it because of Blake Lively and Keanu Reeves. I doubt they're lovers cause it just doesn't seem like it.

2. The Time Traveler's Wife


Ah, another love story adapted from a book. Rachel McAdam's famous for he role in the Notebook and Mean Girls is back with another romantic, emotional movie. Eric Bana is kind of old for her though. Nevertheless, it is one movie, I must watch! Preferably with girls. Cause I know I'm bound to shed a tear or two and I don't want guys to make fun of me.

3. New York, I Love You

So the new trend in Hollywood is having a big cast, names you know of from other movies. I guess He's Just Not That Into You kind of set the big-cast-romantic-comedy trend. Shia LaBeouf, Bradley Cooper, Blake Lively, Maggie Q, Natalie Portman, Orlando Bloom, Hayden Christensen, Rachel Bilson and many many more! This is a bigger cast than He's Just Not That Into You. I hope it's a good movie. It looks cool.



4. Dear John


Channing Tatum (G.I Joe, Step Up) and Amanda Seyfried (Mamma Mia). Another one of Nicholas Sparks novel. He wrote the Notebook. He makes us all cry. Star-crossed lovers, falling for each other in 2 weeks, he returns to the army, they both write letters, happy then sad then you cry. Typical story you know. And yet, I love it! And also Channing Tatum is in it! MUST WATCH!!!!!!!!!!



5. Inglourious Basterds


Did I mention I won two premiere passes to watch this movie from Fly Fm? Hur. I called in on Friday morning and I won them! Oh I didn't do anything but just say "Thank you soooo much!!!". How awesome is that? Brad Pitt is inside! Oh yeah~

6. Jeniffer's Body


Megan Fox. Need I say more?

7. Love Happens

Jennifer Aniston. Aaron Eckhart. Romance. Drama. I'll watch whatever Jennifer is in. =D

8. Pandorum


So many romantic movies and no thriller? I'm looking forward to this one. The trailer looked pretty cool. It's out and I'm expecting to catch it quite soon. =D

9. Law Abiding Citizen


Say hello to Gerard Butler once again! Busy year for him don't you think? Gamer and the Ugly Truth and now this? He may be a little too old for me, but oh my gawd, you know he just oozes sexiness. And that truth ain't ugly. =D

10. 2012


Doomsday everyone!


Those are the movies I cannot wait to catch. Though, exams are nearing. And yet I'm talking about the shows I want to watch. I'm heading for trouble. Oh well. =D


Toodles with luuuurve for vinegar,
Alanna the Banana

Here's to being 18! Cheers!

This was supposed to be posted up yesterday night, but I didn't really know how to put it in words. So I'll do it now. Here goes nothing!

To my Kaki-s.





Thank you so much for the lovely present. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT! even if my mom doesn't. Thank you for making it such a lovely surprise till I teared in happiness. I will not say cry because I did not do that, I teared. And I made such a commotion during Accounts class. Ma bad!
Anyway, I'm not here to thank you for the present. To all three of you, I want to say I'm sorry and thank you. Sorry for being such a brat at times, I know I haven't been spending much time with you guys. I really do wanna make it up to you. I know that I haven't been going out clubbing or joining you guys for little little gatherings. I'm sorry about all that. I will absolutely do my best to go out with all four of you to spend quality time, outside of college. We could always do the girl crying session thing again. I wanna say sorry for troubling you guys beginning of the year. Listening to my problems, rantings and et cetera, et cetara.
I do want to thank you all for being there for me. Having my back at all times. Helping me out in little things even though it troubles you. Thank you for all the wonderful times we had together. I know it's only been a year since we all got so close, but I can say the three of you have made me college life more enjoyable than what I expected it to be. Thank you for everything. I love you guys so much.


To Ton Pi and Jus,




YOU!!!!! Betch-es!!!! Have made my high school life the most interesting period EVER!! Funny shits we've been through. Man, we went through alot together didn't we. We went through puberty together, driving testSSSSSS, boys, make up experiments, and everything until up to today. Though we may be in different colleges now - well, just you Pikky, you're in a different college - we still hang out with each other and we still tell each other stuff, we worry about each other and we are still the same person as we were in high school.
Yes, we've fought but hey, I can say it has definitely made us stronger. The three of us, we're going to go through life together. I love you guys. Sorry, I hate you Ton Pi. =D


To a special someone,


I know we don't have a proper picture together yet, but SOON!! A best friend and a boyfriend in one. I am lucky betch to get someone like you. I know we only got to know each other properly, wait, know isn't the word, TALK is the one, only last year. I remember that night well. So what I'm saying is, even though we got to know each other not too long ago, we've come this far and I want to thank you for taking a chance on me. You have no idea how lucky I feel everyday.
4 months have passed and we're still practically tight. I've mentioned so many things you have done for me the previous posts so I'm not going to say it again. I just really want to thank you. For being there for me when I need you, for taking me out, paying for me meals and every single little gesture like opening the car door for me is appreciated.
Thanks for the lovely present. I will definitely use it. You know I will. I don't know what to fill it in with, probably go to Coffee Bean and fill it up with Hot choc or vanilla. And do know if you need help in anything, I'll do my best to help you out. Just not in your academic area cause we study different stuff. The shirt? I'm more than happy to pay for half of it.
I love you.


To my parents,


You've raised me into a bright, young woman. I know I may be a pain in the ass sometimes, throwing fits for no reason, making you worried ALL THE TIME even though I say I'm fine, making you angry at times and the list goes on. I would never know if I have disappointed you but I ever did make you feel that way, I'm sorry. I might not say this in front of you that I am, but do know that deep down in my heart, I'll always feel bad at the end of the day and I hope you will forgive me for everything I've said or done that might have hurt you. I do want to thank you but everything. From my education, to the little little things in life. Letting me make my own decisions, backing me up when I have a problem, coming to the rescue when I'm in trouble, everything. I might not say I love you to you, but you know I do. Very very much.
I do want to thank you for making this year's wish come true. My friends would know that I've always wanted to invest in something the day I turn 18. And now that I have had my birthday, and turned legal, I have got my wish to invest. You made it happen for me. Thank you. For that and the brand new phone and the dinner you threw for me and the love you have shown me. I love the both of you very very much.


To the rest whom I did not mention in this post, it doesn't mean you are not important. I do want to thank all of you who wished me. You do play a significant role in my life even though you just might be my classmate whom I rarely talk to, but yes, you are an important element in my life. Cause without you guys, life would be different and I wouldn't be the person who I am today. Thank you so much.


So, I guess this is my birthday post.


Toodles with lots of love from the birthday girl,
Alanna the Banana

Blue skies? NOT!

Sometimes I just can't believe that time is running out, so I'm doing my best to keep your here beside me. Do know that even if I hurt you with words, or even if I throw a fit, you will always have my heart to yourself.
Honestly, I'm still figuring out how you tolerate with me. My ramblings and rantings over the smallest things or even nothing at all, my craziness that sometimes go a tad bit out of control, my cries and downs. You were always there to listen to me, comfort me with solemn words, harsh yet gentle, making me smile in the end. Thank you.

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We had someone's special day yesterday. She is one of the happiest person I've ever seen when they're celebrating their birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICOLE!

See, HAPPY!

7th October, her birthday and she came late. Anyway, Fi, Kat, Kavi and I gave her a top from Forever 21. She liked it, hopefully to the extend of loving it. =D

Mabel baked a cake for her. We did not have candles. Kind of weird actually to sing the birthday song. I almost said, "Blow the candles out!", only realizing there were none to blow out so bit my tongue. No, not literally.

We went out for lunch. Fi and Kat didnt join cause they went home. I was practically starving for food, so I decided to join Nicole and the rest for lunch. We went all the way to Bangsar to eat Delicious.

Mabel in the car. Alvin was driving.


At Delicious

She might not have the best birthdays ever but you could tell she had loads of fun and she was genuinely happy about everything. Anyway babe, have fun now being legal and all. =D Your party is coming up. You know we can't wait. You know you can't wait yourself. =D

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I'm too pissed off and frustrated to write what happened at the immigration center. All I can say is their system sucks and the workers there are lazy and rude. Wasted half a day. Efftards.




Toodles with not much love this time round,
Alanna the Banana

Have my heart to yourself

Sundays are relatively boring and lazy days if you don't go out. You sit at home and you laze around, reading the newspapers or just simply watching the telly. It's either really hot outside or it looks like it's about to rain. You don't feel like doing anything else because you just don't feel like it. You constantly feel like sleeping. You tend to procrastinate so much you just end up not doing anything else. I've been wasting my day away. I should be completing my psych report, to do some modification but I think I'm going to do it later. I wanted to go out but then again, I didn't feel like it cause I just felt lazy. I want to sleep though but I feel that if I do, I'd probably won't wake up until about 7pm. Like I said, wasting the day.

Anyway, I'm done with another piece! =D

Fire-y theme. A quick guess?


You'd probably know what it is now.
Her hair is lovely ain't it?


The complete piece.

This piece was much easier to cut, faster to complete too. Her hair was the only difficult part but I had alot of fun cutting out her locks and swirls. She already looked lovely without her wings and her dress. Her wings were so much easier to cut out compared to the previous fairy which made the whole thing much faster to complete.

I chose Red.

The original picture. =D

I had fun yesterday at Ikea. Eating meatballs and fries with cranberry sauce tasted so good, even though someone didn't like it. =.= Eating, talking, walking, buying, walking, reading, buying, walking and eating. Scratching too. Ouch yo. I left my phone in the car too. After getting my phone back, having to travel through the Penchala Link twice, RM4 bucks, I got home and mom offered me rice. Which I gladly accepted. Relatives were over to celebrate the Mooncake Festival. No one ate mooncakes at all. Actually, there were none in sight. Then I got a call from Kavi asking me to go over to Hartamas, which I just came back from, to join her and Kat for a round of drinks. The two K's always having fun. Anyway, I got my own round of drinks. Beer and Bailey's. =D

People are probably going to hate me when I say this, but I think I should start cutting down on the intake of food. They cost money and trust me I spend alot on food more than my clothes. With more intake on food, it goes to my thighs. As if my thighs aren't wobbly enough and filled with cellulite. Humans are never satisfied with themselves, so forgive me for my rambling on my cellulite-filled thighs. T.T

I should start on my Psych report. Soon. Maybe later. I'm hungry. *Forgets her rambles and complains on thighs.*


Toodles with hunger,
Alanna the Banana

You will always

Got back from Breakers an hour ago. We had fun playing pool. I never knew he was that good. =.= But my dear Kat beat him in the last game! That would keep his head growing bigger. Overall, I had a pretty good day with my girls. Trying on a dress which they made me reserve. =.=

I'm back into the cutting paper phase once again! No, I haven't been feeling upset or anything. Just that a few people's birthdays are coming up so I decided to pick up that blade again and start cutting. So besides cutting out cards, I'm working on a fantasy theme. unicorns and that kind of thing. Pretty things. =D

So I'm going to show you guys one piece that I've finished.

Garden-ish. Mushrooms and vines.

Wings. It ain't a butterfly. =D


Try guessing.

Well, here's the finished piece. I'm so proud of my work.

It's a fairy! A rather emo one though.


I decided to put a background for it. I chose Green.

Pretty ain't it? It was more of a garden kind of fairy so I chose a Green base. Her face is uncut cause I didn't want to risk destroying the whole picture with an ugly face. This piece took me 3 hours including of tracing on the paper and cutting out. The picture below is the original picture. Mine is just symmetrical.


I was so inspired and still am, to cut a whole collection of fairies. I've got really pretty pictures in my comp ready to be printed out and traced onto paper. I'll be posting up my work on the blog soon. =D


Toodles with inspiration and love,
Alanna the Banana