And here's the last week of December. I was actually planning to post up a super super long post about the entire year of 2009 and what happened and yadayadayada. December is a delightful month. You're on holiday, you get to do whatever you want and of course, there are occasions. You celebrate birthdays (fine, you get to celebrate birthdays every month, but yeah, birthdays), there's the Mega Sale (ok, not like Malaysia's sale is ever that great, but still, you get things at a slightly lower price), Christmas (so, you spend on presents, but I didn't =D), Boxing day (er, is there anything at all to celebrate?), and finally New Year's Eve, where we all sit down and countdown to the new year.
So with these many celebrations, you start planning. Yes, planning is good. Everything goes well and you are rewarded. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. However, no matter how much you plan, sometimes, things can go wrong. Or some would say, plans would change. And sometimes, entirely. And THAT is what I hate, but sometimes, you have no choice but to go through it.
Hospitals are depressing. Maybe except for the occasional births, but mainly, depressing. I never liked it when my parents checked me into the hospital for dengue. Hated my entire week there. The walls are all bland and dull. Uniforms of the nurses and other staffs are also muted colours except for the doctors, they get nice, white coats. The smell of blood, vomit, urine, and whole lot of other stuff are constantly around you and you just never seem to get used to it. In the emergency room, you see machines all around. Some hooked to patients and some just waiting to be used on the next patient that comes in. You see boxes of unopened packets of syringes, stacked up and that definitely freaked me out. You walk by patients. Some were resting, some were getting their stitches done, and some covered in blood. Then you walk into the ward and you start hearing laughter, phones ring, busy footsteps and all of a sudden, cries. More like yelling, mourning and crying all at the same time. It all started with a cry of pain, followed by a cry of panic and after a couple of nurses and a doctor and some yelling later, there was a cry of sadness and grief. You shiver and you know what had just happened.
Environments in hospitals aren't like what you see on Grey's or House or Scrubs. Doctors are never like the ones you see on tv. Those you see in the media are actors and actresses and extras, not doctors. You don't see doctors comforting their patients and you don't see anyone stopping the elevators just to make out. It is their job to save lives and not to pity or empathize the patients. So you wanna be a doctor? Be immune to emotions first. Ah, what do I know, I don't plan on going into the medical field anyway. Just ranting.
It is somehow an unspoken thing within a family but everyone understands it. You just keep it to yourself. One person falls sick and all of a sudden, calls are made and the response to coming back home is better than the ones during chinese new year. It is a small family reunion but not for a happy occasion. We sit by and take turns and watch over the sick. Some cry and you cant help but to shed a tear too and offer a hug. Sometimes you feel so helpless that all you could do is call the person and just pat their shoulder or hold their hand without saying a word.
So, everything doesn't always go as planned. And it just sucks. But what can you do? You just somehow bear with all of it and live life.
Make your resolutions, don't plan every single thing out, let life be an adventure. Happy New Year everyone.
Toodles with love,
Alanna the Banana
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