I sit in front of my laptop on my lap (please don't go on about how putting the laptop on your lap is bad), I have Estrella's Stay on loop, and I just don't know what to think anymore. So many emotions, so little time to feel them all. Good news, bad news, sad ones, happy ones. Tell me how am I supposed to feel them all?
Last day of college tomorrow, or rather today since it's 12.43am on my clock right now. Everybody is upset about it. Msn personal messages, twitter and facebook are all about the last day of college tomorrow for us SAM students. Yeah, I don't seem upset about it. I don't take it seriously. I know it is the "last" day but saying goodbye is not really my thing. I had trouble realizing I was leaving high school. It was only until March it finally hit me. I'm not saying that this ain't going to hit me till like next year but yeah, it's not really what I do.
This post ain't going to be how I still remember my first day in college cause for goodness sake, you've probably heard it a MILLION times before. It's also not about reminiscing the good and bad times of it. Cause we've all said that and we still remember it. Maybe some other time I'll write about that.
Well, in reality, you're all upset about leaving college. You say I'm going to miss this place, yeah we all said that when we left primary school and secondary school, well you are right, college is a miss-able place. But how long will you say, you will miss this place? You're going to miss your friends? Well, you don't have to miss them, you can MAKE the effort by calling them up and say you wanna hang out. Miss your lecturers? Ah, you said you were going to miss some of your high school teachers last year, but seriously, have you ever given a thought about them before someone brings up the topic about high school? I can honestly say, no. I only said I missed them when I didn't understand a shit thing the lecturer was teaching us.
I'm not trying to be a bitch when all of you are feeling sad. Cause I don't really believe in goodbyes.
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The above post was what I was suppose to continue but I just decided to leave it until there. I just really didn't know how to let my feelings flow. I know most you guys expect me to write a nice post about how I am going to miss college, the friends, the fun, the ping pong, and stuff. But the thing is, I can't? I am going to miss it all but if I were to start writing, god knows how long the post is going to be and I'll be boring half your lives away. But the main reason why I don't want to write about it, it may bring tears to all of your eyes.
What seemed so far away in the beginning seems to be nearing us all. We're facing our exams in a weeks time and we also face the decision we have to make, choosing uni's to further our studies. Some of us have chosen, applied and are ready to go next year. Some of us, are just left undecided, and this is the category I belong to. Undecided category.
So maybe another reason why I don't want to write about it is maybe I just want things to stay as they were. Me waking up for college and changing into outfits, going for lessons, talk with my girls, play pool, eat and go home and talk to my boyfriend. I want things to stay this way cause it was easy. Sure we had trouble at times but there was no reason why we couldn't work our way around it. I want things to stay this way because I didn't need to make decisions, tough ones anyway. I want things to stay this way because I've made friends that carries out the motto, Girls over Bros. I want things to stay this way because I've had so much fun and I didn't have to worry about anything else except sitting for exams. I want things to stay this way because college is the best thing that ever happened to me and it changed me inside out. I want things to stay this way because I don't want to change again.
Within one year, 10 months I would say, I have changed into a person I would have only imagined of. Being myself was what I am in college. I didn't need to worry about what people would have said about me because we all know this year is too short to hate other people. You can definitely see how much people have changed when they go to college. Several ways.
So I'm probably boring you with my non-existent purpose post already. What I'm trying to say is, yes, leaving college has hit me. Hard. I just refuse to show it because I look horrible when I cry.
Toodles with love and tears,
Alanna the Banana
What seemed so far away in the beginning seems to be nearing us all. We're facing our exams in a weeks time and we also face the decision we have to make, choosing uni's to further our studies. Some of us have chosen, applied and are ready to go next year. Some of us, are just left undecided, and this is the category I belong to. Undecided category.
So maybe another reason why I don't want to write about it is maybe I just want things to stay as they were. Me waking up for college and changing into outfits, going for lessons, talk with my girls, play pool, eat and go home and talk to my boyfriend. I want things to stay this way cause it was easy. Sure we had trouble at times but there was no reason why we couldn't work our way around it. I want things to stay this way because I didn't need to make decisions, tough ones anyway. I want things to stay this way because I've made friends that carries out the motto, Girls over Bros. I want things to stay this way because I've had so much fun and I didn't have to worry about anything else except sitting for exams. I want things to stay this way because college is the best thing that ever happened to me and it changed me inside out. I want things to stay this way because I don't want to change again.
Within one year, 10 months I would say, I have changed into a person I would have only imagined of. Being myself was what I am in college. I didn't need to worry about what people would have said about me because we all know this year is too short to hate other people. You can definitely see how much people have changed when they go to college. Several ways.
So I'm probably boring you with my non-existent purpose post already. What I'm trying to say is, yes, leaving college has hit me. Hard. I just refuse to show it because I look horrible when I cry.
Toodles with love and tears,
Alanna the Banana
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