Don't worry, you're safe with me now

You tell me, you're in love with me
Like you can't take your pretty eyes away from me
It's not that I don't want to stay
But everytime you come too close, I move away
I wanna believe in everything that you say
Cause it sounds so good
But if you really want me, move slow
There's things about me, you just have to know

Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
Baby, all I need is time


All of us have our little insecurities at times. Like if we're not pretty enough, or smart enough, or attractive enough. Most of us go through a little phase. People tell you that you're pretty. People tell you that you are good in this. People tell you that you look good in that particular dress. Are they telling the truth or are they just comforting you? Most of us just don't want to hear the truth, but sometimes when we do, we sulk over the truth. So what is it do we really want? Lies or the truth?

I admit I have insecurities. I always have and had them. I always thought I was never pretty enough. Or never smart enough. Or many other things. Friends tell me I'm fine and I have a loving other half who loves for who I am. But I keep thinking. We all know somehow and someway, we are attracted to a person because you find them cute or good-looking or pretty. I always do my best to look at my good side. My personal assets, like talents, positions, creativity and other aspects of myself. But somehow, to me, looks still matter. I look at myself and I see a girl with normal looks and nothing else to back it up. I look at the guy and i see every single thing i could possibly dream of. Good-looking, sweet, fun, musically-talented, loving, kind, smart, and every other characteristics I can think of. So this is what is on my mind, what is it that made him attracted to me? He tells me everything and somehow, no matter how hard i try and accept it, I just find it difficult to believe. I have low self-esteem. I just need time to overcome this problem. Time is all I need.

I'm finally opening up to my friends about this problem because I noticed most of us have this inside us and we only keep it to ourselves because we feel that no one can understand us. Not friends. Not even your family. So why keep it in? Let it out. But then again, sometimes, you just want comfort from your friends, saying that you ARE indeed smart. You ARE indeed pretty. You ARE indeed everything to this guy or girl. But you know what, don't give any comments to me to comfort me. Cause I don't need it. I just need to convince myself. Believe in myself. I need my high self-esteem back because without it, I'd probably lose my friends, a boyfriend and maybe my family.

For now, I feel lost. Oh em gee, I need a hug after writing this emo post.

On a MUCH light note, I bought a dress!!! It be SOOOOO PWETTY!!

Ona darker note again, I'm broke. Again.



Toodles with love,
Alanna the Banana