Nope, it's not an obsession.

Nothing happened? Yeah right, I lied. It's because I have a life now that's why I stopped blogging. Lol. I lied again. I'm just lazy. =D

ANYWAY, I just wanted to blog about one of the biggest moments in my life. I dont know if you guys know this, but my friends would know that I am ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED with Taylor Swift. Not to the point I would stalk every move she made, but I really love her songs and I think she's an amazing role model and person.

I heard one of her first single "Teardrops on My Guitar" when I was 16. And I was instantly, INSTANTLY captivated by her voice but more towards her lyrics. I heard it on the radio and I didn't know who sang it because the DJ didn't announce it at the end of the song (don't you hate it when that happens?). I went home immediately and typed into google "teardrops on my guitar" and the results were flowing. Lyrics of the song, her pictures, the music clips, one after another, I started clicking and I started falling in love with this girl. I read her website and I found out she writes her own lyrics, another plus point. She was only 17 then, so freaking talented! The next day I went to school and asked around if anybody knew her, nope, no one did. I was like, she's not that mainstream, YET (I had a weird obsession that I wanted to be different than everyone else, but I was trying to hard back then, stupid, naive me).

I was just so into her for that whole month ever since I discovered her. I got her album and I was amazed by this girl. She was writing down her lyrics like a diary for everybody to read. And I could relate to what she felt, probably almost every girl could. Every time I listened to "Teardrops On My Guitar", I would tear, relating my experience as well (No, not telling, that's one for you to find out). I knew this girl would be one of my number one favourite artiste with more albums.

A year passed, and at the end of 2008 around October or November, she released her "Love Story". Honestly, she brought fairy tales back making girls (and maybe a few guys) believe that maybe a happy ending does exist. Screw all of you who don't believe in happy endings. You can call me naive and all but I would still like to believe in finding "The One" and having a happy ever after like fairytales. I was so pessimistic back then and I was going through a tough time, Taylor helped me believe in again. Go ahead, laugh at me if you want, but she saved me from self destruction.

She then released her Fearless album. I was so excited I almost shit my pants ok. I got her Platinum Edition which had a few additional songs in it. It was one of those albums that you would know every word of each and every song and relate to some of them. "Fearless" and "You Belong With Me" was my two favourite songs and these two songs were very special to me. It made me realize that maybe someone was there in front of me all along, and that someone has yet to realize that I was there in front of them. The message she wrote in her album explaining what fearless meant to her. It just made me think that she is such a fearless person. An honest, humble, fearless, brave and sweet person (trust me I shortened the adjectives to those few). By this time, I was in college, going through tough times and then I found happiness. Also, Taylor has inspired me to pick up the guitar. Sadly, I didn't pick it up during college. 

“To me, “FEARLESS” is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, FEARLESS is having fears. FEARLESS is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, FEARLESS is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. FEARLESS is falling madly in love again, even though you’ve been hurt before. FEARLESS is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. FEARLESS is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again… even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. It’s FEARLESS to have faith that someday things will change. FEARLESS is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. I think it’s FEARLESS to fall for your best friend, even though he’s in love with someone else. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, I think it’s FEARLESS to stop believing them. It’s FEARLESS to say “you’re NOT sorry”, and walk away. I think loving someone despite what people think is FEARLESS. I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is FEARLESS. Letting go is FEARLESS. Then, moving on and being alright…That’s FEARLESS too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after. That’s why I write these songs. Because I think love is FEARLESS.” 

I prayed and prayed that she would come to Malaysia or somewhere near so I could see her. But then again, who would follow me to her concert? Not many people were big fans like me, not that I knew of anyway. Everybody was into something else and Taylor Swift was considered a "tween" thing. Ugh, screw you all who thought that. 

University came, she was still my inspiration and she kept me company when I needed it. She helped me through tough times. She was the person I went to when I was upset. I would play her songs and sing them out loud or sometimes just humming to the tune (but most of the time sing along cause I knew every word, how to not sing????). Taylor was there when I needed her. Her "Speak Now" album came out. Once again, so excited I almost shit in my pants. 

She grew up. She talked about college. About her relationships and how she got scared. But the song that appealed to me most was "Sparks Fly" and especially "Ours". She talked about how she wouldn't care if anybody thought about the guy she liked and that their love was theirs. I knew quite a few people who didn't approve of my relationship or rather, they thought we wouldn't last. Well, too bad la, Taylor got my back and I didn't give a flying shit about any of your opinions anyway cause here we are three years later still standing strong. I mean my boyfriend and I not Taylor. LOL. And also, I picked up the guitar. The first song I learnt was "Fifteen". And now I can play her entire album cause I love her songs so much.

Melbourne came along and 7 months passed, I FINALLY GOT CONFIRMATION THAT SHE WAS HEADING TO MELBOURNE in 2012! I was so happy, you wouldn't believe it. But I was a little too late in getting tickets because I only knew one friend who would follow me to her concert and that was Sarah. We bought two tickets on 26th August to Taylor Swift's Speak Now Tour 2012. I kept the ticket for 5 months! 5 MONTHS! 

And just this month, 2 weeks ago on the 14th of March, I saw her. In front of my eyes. (Before I got to see her, Hot Chelle Rae played. They were amazing too really. I loved their album. It makes me so happy. Check them out if you haven't already). When she opened with "Sparks Fly", I screamed my lungs out singing with her. She looked at the crowd with a cheeky smile, as if telling herself not to forget this moment and embrace it (but then again, she's probably done so many concerts it was probably her routine. LOL. I would still like to believe she was excited about the concert). Honestly, you wouldn't believe how happy I was. This moment would probably beat my happiness on my future wedding day. 

Never before have I been to a concert which uses so many props and costumes. Each song tells a story and it's amazing that they can put it on as a show, I was amazed. Did I mention she was beautiful? Natural nude eyes, red lips, beautiful blonde messy hair, she was everything I dreamed she would be. Also, I felt like I was so old among the crowd. Honestly, there were so many little girls and they were adorable! But yeah, thank god Asians don't look like their age, Sarah and I managed to pull off the younger age group look. But I didn't care how old I was. I waited since I was 16 for her to come, and at 21(ok, I'm turning 21 in Oct but it's this year), I was proud to see her performing live in front of me, no matter how old I was. 

The setlist went on until she reached "Ours". At this time, she was sitting on a tree in the middle of a stadium with just her guitar. It was amazing. Before she played this song she said (from what I can remember),"This is a song I wrote for someone, who I was falling for. People tried to talk me out of it and I thought to myself, love is between two people and nobody else's but yours". When she started playing that song, I found myself tearing. Tearing because I was so happy that she was playing one of my favourite songs live and I'm here witnessing that very moment. I sang along with her, I didn't scream or shout this time, I wanted to cherish every bit of her singing. This moment was so special to me, I wished I could thank Taylor personally. 

Yeap, I was very far away from her

One of the best concerts I've ever been to. I don't think any concert would beat this, except for her next one. Lol. It was one of those things I could tick off my bucket list: Go to a Taylor Swift concert - CHECKED. I am now contented with life. =) 

Taylor Swift, you have helped me so much in my life. You have made me the person who I am today. You made me believe that true love and happy endings do exist. You made me believe that it's ok to get hurt and that one day you'll be a better person out of it. There are so many more things I wish I could say but I think my post is a little too long (probably one of my longest ever). I just wanna say I love you and thank you. 

You all must think I am an obsessed and delusional fan. But I don't really care about what you guys think of me anyway. I love Taylor Swift and there's nothing wrong with that. 

Toodles with tears in my eyes, 

Alanna the Banana