Sometimes I feel lost

So I'm not feeling all that good today, but I decided to do something about it and let's see how it goes. I'm going to do some psychoanalysis on myself. Less on the analysis though. Psychoanalysis, is basically, saying whatever that comes into your mind to the therapist and the therapist will do analysis on your impulsive thoughts and feelings and relate them back to your past or your unconscious mind. So right now, I'm just going to type out whatever that comes into mind.

•  I was thinking of how to start this post in the shower.
• Sometimes I think I try too hard.
• Julius just texted me and I really think I'm a terrible girlfriend.
• My retainers are kind of annoying. 
• I can't believe I got upset over something small and that was not how I wanted to say goodbye.
• I'm such a terrible girlfriend.
• I don't know why I want to please people so much. 
• But then again, I really don't care what people think of me.
• I can't believe he can tolerate so much shit.
• I need a social life cause I lost it all ever since I went to uni.
• I need to study more, cause I've been neglecting it for about 2 months now. 
• Also, I must come up with a study plan to get my 70% average or more for Melb Uni. 
• Where the hell am I going to stay in Melbourne? AHHHHHHHHH
• They're probably going to hate me because I'm another Malaysian coming into their country.
• I'm going to miss everybody back home.
• If I don't go to bed soon, I swear I'll look like Taylor Momsen and her huge panda eyes. 
• My carnation is dead. 
• My dad offered me wine but I said no cause I wanted to sleep, guess who's here typing now?
• I taste tap water. 
• I don't get why I cry so easily. What the hell happened to me?
• I learnt how to feel again that's what happened. 
• To all the freaking boys I've dated in the past, you're all scumbags. 
• Maybe it was me. Maybe it was always me. 
• I have the urge to buy new bras. 
• If it was me, how can someone stay with me for so long or rather how can I stay with someone for more than a year!?!?!?!
• So not my fault.
• What the fuck are the neighbours doing? Playing loud music at night. Jebus, I'm trying to sleep here. Well, technically not sleeping NOW, but you know, for later. 
• There's a bug on my screen. Ew. 
• It's quite catchy. I think it's "Dynamite" by whatshisname. 
• I'm going to get sick in Melb so often. I hate the drastic weather changes. 
• I should really throw that flower away.
• I should really sleep.
• I want a dog. They are so adorable really. 
• Or maybe a cat. They're really cute too. 
• Or maybe it's just the photographs that make me want to have a pet. Cause the consequences of having a pet is a disaster. 
• My internet connection sucks.
• He's not replying my texts. Oh right, flying cockroach in his room. Thank god I'm here.
• My shoulder blade hurts like shit. 
• I hate my eyebags and this is why i should go to sleep. 
• I'm terrible. 
• Oh my gosh, it's my fault, and I feel so bad. 

So so, that was within half an hour. I really need my sleep. So no analysing, just the psycho part. I really should straighten my head up.

Toodles with sleepiness, 

Alanna the Banana