I don't give a rat's ass if you say I'm always blogging about me being sappy and all. It's my blog!
Every time someone asks about me going to Aussieland next year, they usually follow up with another question asking how about my boyfriend. I usually say, "Well, he's staying. And he doesn't wanna go when I ask him if he does. So let it be. I'll just go." I always say it like there's no worries about anything, shrug the question off and I just smile. Deep down, it's always the opposite.
I just don't want to let anybody down. Especially when family members ask. I don't want to let them know I'm breaking down inside wishing I could just say no to going. I don't want to let my parents down, to tell them I wanna stay because of a boy, cause we've been through that before and I don't want to have to talk about it with them again. I gotta go and it's a fact.
Tomorrow, I hand in my application forms to the Universities' representatives. He and I are both praying that I get into UNSW. Yes, as much as I hate to leave this country, I'm quite excited about going to Aussieland. But still, I don't like that feeling in the gut which is making me question if I should go or not.
Toodles with love,
Alanna the Banana
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